Divinely Human: By Christine Wushke
The following article is an excerpt out of “Diary of a mystic Yogi” by Christine Wushke, which can be viewed here.
It’s been almost a year since the experience which I am calling ‘the void’, so much has changed inside, yet no real difference is discernible in my day-to-day life. This last year has been mostly beyond words, and beyond description; but the impulse is strong to keep a journal even though the words themselves can never come close to touching what is being directly experienced.
At some point after my stay in the mountains, I distinctly remember feeling ‘now I can really be here’. It was a sense of awe and wonder, and a feeling of arriving on this planet for the very first time. Everything seemed new to me, and this sense of awe was like a colorful hue that fell on everything i looked at for quite some time. I felt like a newly hatched chick, the new sense of openness was wonderfully freeing, but also a raw and vulnerable at the same time. It felt as if the soul was open and exposed in every moment, with no possibility of hiding or shrinking from view.
For several months there was the sensation of spiralling into the human experience, there was so much wonder in simply being here. The feeling of inhabiting a human body felt wonderfully blissful the majority of the time. Though the blissful feeling was not contained to the body itself, it was still felt as a buzzing beneath the feet, as it was first noticed that day in the mountains. The sensation can be described as a feeling of the earth being an extension of the human body.
At some point, and I can’t pin point exactly when, there was a slipping into a deep acceptance of things being as they are. The things that were happening in my life were seen without the old lens of a personal ‘story’, and fully allowed, because there wasn’t anything invested in an outcome. There was a sense of returning to the mundane and ordinary aspects of life, but approached with fresh eyes. A new appreciation for the basics of life, like motherhood, started settling in; and more and more I began feeling like i was simply melting into life, seeing it with fresh eyes, with more to see and appreciate every day.
This deep acceptance and peace remains today, and I am feeling it profoundly as a baseline throughout every moment of my days. What often surprises me is the full depth of the human experience that is felt. I am often surprised when an emotion arises, as it comes up like a volcanic eruption, with no warning. It penetrates fully, every fibre of my being, as if there are simply no walls to hide behind anymore. The full penetration of everything is also now accepted, and not a struggle like it was in the beginning. I have come to deeply appreciate the moments of sorrow, anger, or joy as sacred precious moments of the human experience.
There is an empathy here also like never before. If a friend is in distress, I am right there with her, feeling it all, no holding back. Sometimes I feel so deeply the pain of humanity, and cry for those who suffer. At other times I feel almost indifferent to the world situation, and simply forget that other beings here are suffering. I forget for many days at a time that there is even such a thing as suffering. Though it seems that inevitably, life will bring a person into my world who is experiencing deep emotional pain, and that reality is opened up once again, and I remember and deeply feel, what that is like.
At other times, there is simply the feeling like nothing at all is happening inside. Like a vast open canvas, with nothing at all on it. Maybe this is the space of pure potential, or maybe it is a hollow void, I can’t be sure. These moments seem to be increasing in their frequency lately. I have no words to define this space, and no way to really accurately express it. The closest thing I can come up with to describe it is ‘simple effortless beauty’. This blank canvas is comfort and satisfaction beyond what I have ever known, there is no need to understand it, to fill it with color, or even have it stay as it is. It quite simply, just IS.
I do feel that the unfolding of this journey is not over, and the unfolding may very well continue for all of eternity. There is such sacredness to the mystery of this unfolding. Not knowing what will happen next, but feeling that all is sacred, and all is precious. Every single moment.
To read more entries of “Diary of a Mystic Yogi” click here.
Christine Wushke is a certified yoga and meditation teacher with over 15 years of experience. Her aim is to create a sacred space for students to effortlessly find the presence of stillness and an inner silence. Christine’s mission is to raise consciousness on the planet by empowering people to realize their own Divinity and to uncover a deep peace within. Christine is committed to assisting you in your journey, and helping you to realize directly for yourself the truth of what you are, and the stillness of truth within. In addition to her yoga and meditation training, Christine is also a registered massage therapist.