You Would Have Made A Splendid Old Lady
Dedication for Jerry and Dolores
When I first met Jerry Katz, Jerry was a happy go lucky philosopher and expounder of wisdom with no website. I was in the same boat and having fun. Jerry and I often debated about profound things and hurled wisdom filled words at each other. Jerry was good at ducking though. If a discussion did not go his way, Jerry would shift positions, saying that words do not mean much anyway. If I said Truth and Love were the same, Jerry would insist that Truth was higher than Love. If I said that Self was the highest Truth, Jerry would say no, there is something higher than Self. If I quoted Ramana, Jerry would quote Nisargadatta. If I read lines from Robert Frost, Jerry would take out his Walt Whitman poetry. If I talked about health foods, Jerry would talk about the donut shop that he goes to every morning. You get the drift. Jerry and I had to argue a little on a daily basis. All friendly stuff. Jerry never gets mad. Well, actually Jerry does swear sometimes.
Now and then Jerry and I would agree. On those days, I would tell Jerry that he was an excellent writer and had a profound understanding of non-dual philosophy and should have his own website. Yes, it is true. That’s how we spent time.
One day Jerry told me that his wife Dolores was very ill. In fact, she was dying. Jerry was then doing his best to take care of Dolores and make her feel comfortable. They had been married around 15 years. Jerry and I often spoke from that point on about him and Dolores.
Jerry told me about his marriage to Dolores and how they had met in California and eventually moved to Canada. Jerry told me that Dolores was a few years older than him and the illness was really wearing her out and making her look much older. He said it was very hard because even though Dolores was only 5 years older than him, when he was with her at the hospital, some people thought that she was his mother. It was not easy for Jerry but he was somehow managing with the help of his friends.
For a long time Jerry watched Dolores struggle and go through that very painful process. He talked to me about the suffering involved in dying and we talked about the suffering involved in living. When Dolores passed away, there was a big adjustment period for Jerry. His friends comforted him. Jerry was then only in his late forties. I had written a poem about lovers who lose their loved ones and about husbands who lose their wives. I sent the poem to Jerry. I don’t know why I sent it. Jerry graciously put the poem on his website. I wanted to formally dedicate the poem to Jerry and Dolores in this issue of the HS magazine. It is called, “You would have made a splendid old lady”.
Hey Jerry. Love you brother.
Harsha
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Beautiful and poignant.
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Yes. Thank you for your appreciation.
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