You Would Have Made A Splendid Old Lady


Dedication for Jerry and Dolores

When I first met Jerry Katz, Jerry was a happy go lucky philosopher and expounder of wisdom with no website. I was in the same boat and having fun. Jerry and I often debated about profound things and hurled wisdom filled words at each other. Jerry was good at ducking though. If a discussion did not go his way, Jerry would shift positions, saying that words do not mean much anyway. If I said Truth and Love were the same, Jerry would insist that Truth was higher than Love. If I said that Self was the highest Truth, Jerry would say no, there is something higher than Self. If I quoted Ramana, Jerry would quote Nisargadatta. If I read lines from Robert Frost, Jerry would take out his Walt Whitman poetry. If I talked about health foods, Jerry would talk about the donut shop that he goes to every morning. You get the drift. Jerry and I had to argue a little on a daily basis. All friendly stuff. Jerry never gets mad. Well, actually Jerry does swear sometimes.

Now and then Jerry and I would agree. On those days, I would tell Jerry that he was an excellent writer and had a profound understanding of non-dual philosophy and should have his own website. Yes, it is true. That’s how we spent time.

One day Jerry told me that his wife Dolores was very ill. In fact, she was dying. Jerry was then doing his best to take care of Dolores and make her feel comfortable. They had been married around 15 years. Jerry and I often spoke from that point on about him and Dolores.

Jerry told me about his marriage to Dolores and how they had met in California and eventually moved to Canada. Jerry told me that Dolores was a few years older than him and the illness was really wearing her out and making her look much older. He said it was very hard because even though Dolores was only 5 years older than him, when he was with her at the hospital, some people thought that she was his mother. It was not easy for Jerry but he was somehow managing with the help of his friends.

For a long time Jerry watched Dolores struggle and go through that very painful process. He talked to me about the suffering involved in dying and we talked about the suffering involved in living. When Dolores passed away, there was a big adjustment period for Jerry. His friends comforted him. Jerry was then only in his late forties. I had written a poem about lovers who lose their loved ones and about husbands who lose their wives. I sent the poem to Jerry. I don’t know why I sent it. Jerry graciously put the poem on his website. I wanted to formally dedicate the poem to Jerry and Dolores in this issue of the HS magazine. It is called, “You would have made a splendid old lady”.

Hey Jerry. Love you brother.




Taking a deeper than my usual sigh
what poem shall I write tonight
when only your face seems in sight
and all the birds have taken flight.

When emptiness invades me so
and the void
fills me head to toe
then looking at the fresh grass
makes me uneasy;
its not hard to see
that youth and tenderness will go
like flowers blooming yesterday
and hide beneath the Christmas snow.

I console myself now and then
still inconsolable I remain
because your face always
so brightly lit
will never be seen again
by the eyes that watch
the nightly stars
to catch a glimpse
of the light of love.

The leaves are dropping
early this season it seems
and days from now on
will be less shady
but the night will still
have its moon beams
and I think you would have
made a splendid old lady.

Yes, I said it
in a roundabout way
what I wanted
to tell you all along
that I was in love with
the creases around your lips
and to wrinkles under your eyes
I dedicate this song.

What I cannot bring
myself to say
that since the spring
of my youth
has passed away
it comes to mind that I should
do the best I can
to be a nice old gentleman
and only if you could have
remained my steady
hanging on my arms
you would have
made a splendid old lady.


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