How To Stop Arguing? – Part 1: By Dr. Ram Chandran

Editor’s note: This exceptional three part article was written by Dr. Ram Chandran, one of the co-founders of the Advaitin List. I believe the article can be of  great value to friends, co-workers, and lovers who find themselves arguing over many things. I have edited the original version only slightly to bring out the essential points of the articles which apply to all aspects of life.

How To Stop Arguing?

Friends, are arguments with your spouse, co-workers, boss, your girl friend or boy friend, or your parents disturbing you? Are you and your neighbor getting into heated discussions on who worships the true God? Whatever the reason for the arguments that have taken away your peace of mind, help is on the way!

Here is a partial list of argument stoppers that we can all employ on a daily basis when facing potential conflict in a conversation.

1. You may be probably right.
2. What you have said is certainly one way of looking at it.
3. I am more than happy to take your point into consideration.
4. I want to take little more time and I do plan to get back to you.
5. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I respect what you have said.
6. Let’s postpone and talk about this when both of us are calm.
7. I am able to see the subtlety of your thoughts.
8.  I have come to the conclusion that arguing just isn’t worth it.
9.  Let’s respect each other’s position and agree to disagree.
10. Our opinions may differ but we can gain more by listening.
11.  There is some validity to what you are saying but we need more information to make a decision.

Of course, there are many more ways as well. Please share your favorite argument stopper line.

Keep in mind that most life situations are more complex. Constant arguments with a friend, spouse, lover, parent, neighbor, despite your sincerely wanting to stop may indicate more basic problems in the relationship that have to addressed. Unfortunately, there are no simple solutions.  Still one can adopt the attitude of good will and doing what is in the best interest of all concerned.

Now read Part -2!

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